The Stewart Adams Project

 

January 27, 2010

Disney Princesses – Part 1

Posted at 8:21 am

Disney has a tried and true method for developing many of their classic characters – A beautiful princess that goes through many a trial but ultimately ends up with a handsome prince charming.  It’s a rubber stamp formula that is often cliché and repetitive, but it works.   To quote the only animated film ever nominated for Best Picture: “If it’s not baroque, don’t fix it.”

But has anyone ever really taken a critical and admittedly cynical  look into the lives of these Princesses?  Little girls love them because they wear Drancy Fesses, women love them because they are “strong,”  and guys love them because they are “hot” and “rich” (everything a man wants his woman to be).  But what really lies under the skin deep beauty and initial appeal of these characters? Let’s analyze them, shall we?

01. Cinderella – Not really a princess at all except by marriage, this little girl is everything she is because of other people.  She was a slave because of her step mother and sisters, she was made into a fake princess by her fairy god mother, she was rescued by her animal friends and she was made into a real princess by the prince.  Basically Cinderella doesn’t even really exist except as a shell entity that is swayed and moved by whichever way the proverbial wind is blowing.

02. Snow White – Allegedly the fairest maiden in the land, Snow White obviously lived in a land where standards for feminine beauty were extremely low.  With her pale white skin and plain features, Snow looks like one who has some kind of unshakable disease.  Based on her general attitude and the fact that she eats poisoned fruit received from an obviously shady old woman, it is clear that Snow is not the brightest bulb on the strand.

03. Aurora – Also known as Sleeping Beauty, this princess was given an unfair advantage at birth.  Bestowed with super human beauty and singing skills by the fairies Flora and Fauna, has no one realized how superficial these gifts are?  What good would beauty and singing do the kingdom if Aurora had turned out to be pure evil?  How about something like ‘the gift of wisdom’ or ‘the gift of purity’?  I guess the scale of what makes a good princess is measured only by how she looks and sounds.

04. Belle – Belle is a clearly disturbed small town girl who falls in love with a creature of another species. Enough said.

05. Ariel – Filled with teen angst, this half fish girl strives to be something she’s not…a woman.  This is displayed by Ariel’s constant rebellion to her authorities, her whiny sel-fish (ha!) attitude and the fact that she’s half fish.

To be continued…

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Filed under Blog Entries | 12 Comments »

12 Responses to “Disney Princesses – Part 1”

  1. Bethany Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 10:20 am

    I’d like to say something in defense of Cinderella. She had great work ethic, and managed to keep a positive attitude outside her circumstances. Sure she had the break down at the water fountain, but who doesn’t? I think she’s a great example, for the most part…and also my favorite Disney princess, btw.

  2. Lindsay Owens Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    More, more. I want more about the Princesses!!!

  3. Murphy Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    Tell us your thoughts about Tiana, our first black princess(Excluding Obama)

  4. Bonnie Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    you forgot Jasmine, who is typically included in the Disney princesses, but it’s ok cuz she’s dumb anyways.

  5. Stewart Says:
    January 27th, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    That’s what Part 2 is for: Jasmine, Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana.

  6. Bethany Says:
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    Tinker bell might as well be included in the Disney princesses…although she doesn’t get a pandsome hrince. Not yet anyways, they’re making enough sequels she’s bound to get hitched sooner or later.

  7. Roy Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 9:49 am

    I just want to say that Bekah was really upset about this post. I think you struck something near and dear to her heart. So this is for her.

    Cinderella – We don’t really know that she wasn’t royalty, because we don’t know much about her father. We know that he was rich and well known because the old step-mother wouldn’t have manipulated him in the first place. The other step daughters wouldn’t have been invited to the party if they weren’t eligible to marry the Prince. Therefore Cinderella was eligible as well and a quality princess.

    Can’t say much for Snow White. Just weird.

    Aurora made the best out of what she was given. She was always cheerful and happy even before she knew she was a princess. She was never proud of her gifts but used them to bless others.

    Belle gave her life for her fathers. Willing to live a dreaded life locked up in a tower. It wasn’t until she saw past the beast into the man that she learned to love him. There wasn’t a physical relationship until after he became a man. Before that they were just really good friends who cared about each other.

    Not much can be said for Ariel. She was rebellious to the core. But at least she had good music.

  8. Stewart Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 10:30 am

    Let me first say that the purpose of this blog is to be humorous and lighthearted in its approach to content. That being said, nothing you read here is to be taken seriously to the point that it affects you negatively. I will be the first to point out that these blogs are riddled with false statements, non truths, and paradigms used for the purpose of entertaining and eliciting a reaction.

    To be quite honest, I am myself a big fan of most Disney films and am simply taking a fictional perspective to show that this negative interpretation is indeed logical and thought provoking.

    So with that in mind, I respond to the aforementioned comment in like manner.

    Cinderella: The invitation to the ball was extended to all the maidens of the kingdom…so all of them would be eligible.

    Belle: She did not know the Beast would transform into a man, she said that she loved him after he was “dead.”

  9. B---- Says:
    February 1st, 2010 at 11:42 am

    Uuuugggghhhh.

  10. Brianna Says:
    February 2nd, 2010 at 11:29 am

    haha awesome Stew! You should do a blog on the princes.

  11. Zachary Says:
    February 2nd, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Way to go Stew! that’s the best (and most accurate) description on the disney princesses I have ever read

  12. The Stewart Adams Project Says:
    April 7th, 2010 at 11:29 am

    [...] at 11:29 amYou may recall a few weeks back I did a couple articles on the Disney Princesses (here and here) which was received with resounding approval by my readership as well as top accolades [...]

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