The Stewart Adams Project

What is the Project?

An idea. An experiment. By simply using today’s many communication tools, from Facebook to TV, could you turn a seemingly average person into a celebrity? A group of college students decided to find out. more»

Who is Stewart?

Stewart is a seemingly average college graduate. He's 24 years old, he currently lives in Kennesaw, Georgia, and he works around 50 hours a week as a utility coordinator for a local roadway contractor. more»

How can I help?

We need you to spread Stewart's name and the project throughout your social networks. Any connections, friends, family, acquaintances, random people on the street—you get the idea. more»

 

November 11, 2009

Dharma

Posted at 10:51 am

Greetings and salutations my dear readership.  I would like to take this moment of your day to apologize for having not written for the past 3 weeks.  I wish I had some great excuse like the fact that I contracted the H1N1 “Swine Flu” virus and spent the weeks sitting idly in quarantine at a state of the art government facility…however, that would only be the partial truth.  That part about me sitting idly was a lie.  I spent the days mostly being strapped to a table and experimented on by so called “scientists” who wore bright yellow radiation suits and spoke to each other in some kind of code language that Dharma Sentailed guttural beeping and chirping noises.  Performing invasive surgeries every morning at 10:42, my captors seemed to be looking for something amongst my organs.  Initially I thought that they may be individually cleansing my internal body parts in an effort to rid them of the H1N1 infection.  My theory was soon consumed by the fires of common sense reminding me that picking up a living person’s pancreas and scanning it with a green light and then putting it back into the body doesn’t necessarily cure infections.   That is unless the government scientists had developed a brand new swine flu killing green light scanner device that contains technology that has not yet been released to the public.  A third option could be that I was heavily drugged and only thought I saw evil doctors scanning my organs with a green light in a state of the art government facility.  Of course, I’m only assuming that all this happened to me over the past three weeks and that the scientists also had the technology to erase my memories and replace them with memories if me getting laid off, having to find a new job, getting a new cell phone, getting a new car and filming a video of me getting crushed by falling rocks in a wooded glen. Silly government scientists, they could have picked a more convincing story.

StewartSig copy2

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