The Stewart Adams Project

 

March 26, 2008

Fitness

Posted at 2:59 pm

This week I began a fitness program that shall remain nameless but just so happens to rhyme with P90X. The host, who shall remain middle-nameless is Tony Horton, a super ripped overzealous hyper little man who’s lung capacity must be enormous with the amount of talking he does while working out. It’s not so much intelligent speech as it is endless rambling about who-knows-what or in a lot of cases, a sales pitch for all the great P90X products you can buy in addition to the $130 video program you’ve already purchased. Another thing about Tony that makes the skin crawl is how after 45 minutes of jumping around and playing air-basketball, sweat is pouring off his body and his veins are popping out, but his combed ‘do’ is still perfect without a single hair out of place…that my friends, is sickening.
As I contemplate my own personal feelings about Tony and P90X in general, I have made a conscious decision that I am going to continue to fuel my hatred of him and it. As my rage increases, so will my motivation to out do Tony at his own game. Tony is very similar to an alarm clock, the shrill loud annoying ones that make you shudder when you hear them on the radio in the middle of the day. In our subconscious, we associate the pain and agony of waking up in the morning with the sound of the alarm clock. The same is true of P90X, the more pain there is to associate with Tony’s face, the more I hate him.
In the meantime, I’ll be getting muscle mass and fat loss as a byproduct of my loathing and in many ways it will be all thanks to Tony Horton.

Stewart

Filed under Blog Entries | 4 Comments »

4 Responses to “Fitness”

  1. Max Says:
    March 26th, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    Option two: Print a giant picture of Tony Horton using CWM’s map-printers and then take it to the range. You can bring your alarm clock too if you want, you won’t need it after you get fired for using all of CWM’s sweat colored ink (which will certainly be the case).

  2. Rae Says:
    March 26th, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Haha, Stew – I appreciate the passion with which you loathe Tony…but I have but one thing to say…which I won’t say…=) good luck!

  3. Roy Says:
    March 26th, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Also being a forgoer of the Xness I have found the guy with the prosthetic leg to be quite loathsome as well. They throw him into the plyo workout just so you know that if you quite in the middle of the workout you might as well cut off your own leg. What a loser!

  4. Keith Says:
    March 28th, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    LOL, I hate it, but I love it! I’ve cussed Tony under my breath numerous times! Great job for chosing to tackle the X! Looking forward to seeing your day 30 pictures. =0) Keep up the good work!

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